


Danganronpa V3 Texting Bullshit

by TheUltimateSupremeRobot



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Kiibouma, Multi, Other characters will appear, everyone has a dirty mouth but kiibo, expect it to be shitty, harumota, my first work on here!, saimatsu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-01 23:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16294442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUltimateSupremeRobot/pseuds/TheUltimateSupremeRobot
Summary: Kaede makes a group chat. It all goes downhill from there





	1. The beginning of hell...

*Kaede started a group chat with Shuichi, Maki, Kiibo, Kaito and Kokichi*

  
**Kaede:** hey everyone!

  
**Kiibo:** Hello, Kaede!

  
**Kaito:** Yo what's up Kaede?

  
**Kokichi:** the fuck?

  
**Shuichi:** Hello.

  
**Maki:** ...

  
**Kaede:** I made a group chat for everyone!

  
**Kiibo:** Ah! This will be useful for communicating when we are not in the same area.

  
**Kaito:** Hey, Harumaki!

 

**Kokichi:** Fan-fucking-tastic...

  
**Shuichi:** That is quite helpful.

  
**Maki:** Hello... Why was I invited?

  
**Kaede:** I invited all my friends, and you're a friend! Oh yeah, I also need to change everyone's names!

  
**Kaito:** Wait what

  
**Kiibo:** You can do that?!

  
**Kokichi:** No!

  
**Shuichi:** Um...

  
**Maki:** Do you want to die?

  
**Kaede:** Too late!

  
**Robot-Roomba:** Are you being serious

  
**Blankspace:** What the hell? Is this a Taylor Swift reference?!

  
**Princess:** Okay why am I a PRINCESS?

  
**Sherlock:** Um... I appreciate the detective name but... Was this necessary?

  
**Teddy** **Bear:** ...

  
**Kaede:** All the group chats I've seen have people as different names! And I thought Princess fitted you, Kokichi!

  
**Robot-Roomba:** BUT DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A ROBOPHOBIC NAME?

  
**Blankspace:** Well, I like space, so I guess it fits?

  
**Princess:** KAEDE! YOU'RE BEING A BULLY TO KIICARD!

  
**Sherlock:** Why didn't you get a nickname?

  
**Teddy** **Bear:** .............

  
**Kaede:** The only way I can get a nickname is if someone hacks my roigjroeoiejfojeroifjeroijfeoriujfoeirfwgfG

  
**Robot-Roomba:** What was with the Keyboard smash?

  
**Blackspace:** Uh, Kaede?

  
**Princess:** ... Kiibo... Wanna come and visit me?

  
**Sherlock:** Don't change the subject!

  
**Teddy** **Bear:** Yeah... Okay... This got weirder...


	2. The case of the mysterious name switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone switches everyone's names

**Shuichi** **Saihara:** OK NO WHY IS MY NAME CHANGED TO SHUICHI

  
**Kokichi** **Ouma:** I know the feeling....

  
**Maki** **Harukawa:** THE HELL IS THIS? (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

  
**K1-B0:** Fuck...

  
**Kaede** **Akamatsu:** ...

  
**Kaito** **Momota:** ...

  
**Maki** **Harukawa:** KOKICHI WAS THIS YOU

  
**K1-B0:** WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE ME?

  
**Maki** **Harukawa:** YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOES THESE KINDS OF THINGS! ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

  
**K1-B0:** I HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT YET! I AM SWAMPED WITH PAPERWORK YOU JOBLESS FUCK!

  
**Maki** **Harukawa:** WHY YOU!

  
**Shuichi** **Saihara:** Guys, stop fighting! We need to figure out who did this!

  
**Kokichi** **Ouma:** This is so strange.....

  
**Kaede** **Akamatsu:** Who would do this?

  
**Kaito** Momota: ...

  
**K1-B0:** Well it wasyvshoytffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

**Kokichi** **Ouma:** KOKICHI!

  
**Kaede** **Akamatsu:** I think he fell asleep...


	3. Kaito, the secret Saiouma shipper?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito shows his true shipping opinion

**Kaito:** Shuiiichiiiiiii

  
**Shuichi:** Wait... Is everything fixed?

  
**Kaito:** Yeah, but that's not it! You know I set up a date for you and Kokichi tonight, right?

  
**Shuichi:** ... I'm sorry, you did what?

  
**Kaito:** Set up a date!

  
**Shuichi:** ... With Kokichi?

  
**Kaito:** Yep!

  
**Shuichi:** ...

  
**Shuichi:** WHY??????

  
**Kaede:** I may or not have been in this as well... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**Shuichi:** THAT DOESN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!

  
**Kaede:** You get tricked so easily, Shuichi! XD

  
**Kiibo:** Kaede, Kaito, I'm going to give you two 10 seconds to run from wherever you are right now.

  
**Kaede:** Welp gtg

  
**Kaito:** B Y E

  
**Shuichi:** Oh thank god it was a prank...


	4. Kiibo's Auto-Erection woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo has.... problems...

**Kiibo:** Is anyone having Auto-Erection problems?

  
**Kaito:** Auto WHAT NOW?!

  
**Kokichi:** I just woke up and wtf???

  
**Shuichi:** please tell me that's Autocorrect...

  
**Kiibo:** I MEAN AUTO ERECTION

  
**Kiibo:** A U T O C O R R E C T I O N

  
**Kokichi:** Aw... And here I thought I could be of some help...

  
**Kokichi:** JK

  
**Shuichi:** Just say Autocorrect...

  
**Kiibo:** What do you think I'm doing, Sacky?!

  
**Kaito:** Ok, that was autocorrect for sure

  
**Shuichi:** I would hope so

  
**Kokichi:** Oh... So I'm just ignored then? Fine then...

  
**Kiibo:** ❤ for Kokichi, and I just turned on your autocorrect, Shuichi, so you see what I'm dealing with!

  
**Kaede:** I just woke up and I'm not even going to ask....

  
**Shuichi:** Butter nut Cookie.

  
**Shuichi:** why? Buttermilk nacho Kamikaze.

  
**Shuichi:** W T F ?

  
**Shuichi:** B E T T E R N O T K A E D E

  
**Shuichi:** Kibble. Why?

  
**Shuichi:** Oh for ducks sake. K I I B O

  
**Kokichi:** Mmm, Butternut cookies sound really good right now. :p

  
**Kiibo:** This whole conversation was a fail....

  
**Kaito:** yeah, no shit


	5. Flying Fruits and Homos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi musing with Kaito about life

Shuichi: If I was stuck in a room full of explosives and the only way out was to gossip to a friend, I would die  
Kaito: How the hell would you even get in that situation?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kaito: You support gay rights so you must be homo!  
Shuichi: I support animal rights, do I look like an alpaca to you?  
Kaito: ......  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kaito: Some of you may already know this. but the worst thing just happened. Kokichi threw a cat at me and I tried to catch it but my finger went up it's asshole.  
Shuichi: I just burst into laughter in the middle of my uncle's COMPLETELY quiet office because of you. Goodbye.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Shuichi: K-kaito, what did you just type?  
Sparkly Queen: I SAID WHOEVER CHANGED MY NAME, YOUR MOM'S A HOE!  
Shuichi: Kaito.....


End file.
